


They all grow up at some point

by Collegegrrrl



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Humor, Multi, Tony is a Dad but we been knew, and not even like a cool one he’s a dorky dad, his best friend is the cool dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 21:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19754215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Collegegrrrl/pseuds/Collegegrrrl
Summary: Tony made an assumption, asked a question, and boy did he get an answer!





	They all grow up at some point

When Tony walks in he hears Ned _mhmming_ from the phone sitting on Peter’s lap as he waves his hands animatedly at Michelle, going on about some cool fact about the colleges he’s looking at. It’s still hitting Tony, how the kid has grown, has matured-. Peter has just hit himself in the face by gesturing too wildly. Tony is abruptly calmed by the fact that no matter what, Peter will be Peter. 

Whatever his face looks like at the moment catches Michelle’s eye and she pops her chin at him, speaking in her self assured attention grabbing way,”And what about you, Stark? What advice do you have to give to Peter about college?” From the phone, Ned can be heard agreeing,”Yeah, I wanna hear this! The legend Tony Stark speaking on his college days!”

Trying to hide a grimace Tony slowly saunters over to the couch, perching on the arm closest to Peter and reaching over to ruffle the kids hair while he thinks.

”Well, balance is important. Balance between studying and partying. Between stressing and relaxing, even when that seems impossible. Balance between sacrifice and self care. Balance between being social and taking some time for yourself to grow. Take care to know who you have in the community around you, and who you keep close to you. You might find some close friends, and you might find some sneaky enemies. When you’re a bio or a chem or a biochem major, _every_ course is a weed out course, for your whole academic career, so be ready for _that_ great part of life...”

Stopping to think, Tony is pretty sure he got it all, but then he realizes this is the perfect opportunity to get some prime Teasing Dad Time in, so he goes for it. He must have a huge grin on his face from the narrowed eyes Peter aims at him, but he doesn’t stop him, so Tony takes his chance,”And, you know, when you finally decide to join the sexually active world, make sure you get tested regularly and use protection!” Peter is groaning, but it doesn’t cover the sound of Ned snorting, then absolutely losing it, and Michelle speaks up quickly for someone who usually chooses her words carefully in order to maximize impact, almost squeaking,”You never told him??” before bursting into laughter as well.

Tony is riveted to Peter’s face, which has slowly gotten more and more red, but he doesn’t even need to ask, as Peter ruefully sighs, muttering,”Well if they’re laughing then they’ve given permission so...” before he turns his face to Tony, a small smile sitting on his lips as he grabs Michelle’s hand and announces,”Ned, Michelle and I have been together for a while now, and we all... decided to experience that together.”

Shook doesn’t even cover it. Tony is obliterated. He’s destroyed. He’s, rightfully, betrayed at just how many times Peter snuck Michelle and Ned into the tower for sleepovers because ‘May doesn’t want noise in the house tonight, but I don’t want her to feel bad please don’t tell her!’

He’s been played like a fool.

He stares Peter in the eye as he stands with fake gravitas, but real intent, behind his actions, stalking away a few steps before leaning his brow into his hand to ramp up his dramatic energy, a diversion for him grabbing his phone, and bemoaning,”All those times I thought you were simply an innocent child, I was wrong.” Peter’s starts snickering in the background, until,”Hey May? Yeah, sorry to interrupt your day, I just wanted to check, did _you_ know Peter snuck his two significant others into the tower to have sex when you wouldn’t let them stay over with the door closed? Because _I_ sure didn’t.”

The area behind him is _silent_.

May, however, is not. 

Tony turns around just to grin at the sheer terror on Peter’s face, and the begrudging approval on Michelle’s. Ned pipes up from the phone, barely heard under May’s yelling,”Dude, when you die, I get your legos right?


End file.
